When Mom Moves In: A Tale of Family Caregiving
It's becoming a familiar tale that we are beginning to relate to more and more: mom is lonely and is having an increasingly difficult time living on her own or dad is starting to show signs of memory loss and probably shouldn't be left alone. But what happens when being a family caregiver becomes a full-time job?
In a recent blog post for the New Old Age, Celia Watson Seupel shares her story of "the job to end all others," in which her 92-year-old mother moves in and she loses her job: "To work full time and take care of a parent with dementia is a contradiction in terms — unless your full-time job is taking care of a parent with dementia. Even if I’d had more time to prepare, I still would have lost my job."
But Celia is not alone. According to the national Alzheimer’s Association, almost 10 million people provide unpaid care for someone with dementia and these people are much more likely to reduce working hours or quit work than those who care for an elderly person with other problems. One study found that 43 percent of caregivers were unemployed and two-thirds of those who were employed (either part time or full time) had to go in late, leave early or take time off. And according to "Caregiving in the U.S.," a 2009 study by the National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP, when caregiving conflicts with work, 'seven in 10 caregivers report making changes such as cutting back on their working hours, changing jobs, stopping work entirely, taking a leave of absence, or other such changes.'"
First and foremost, rallying family support is of the utmost importance. Do you have family and/or friends nearby who are trustworthy and willing to assist? There is no shame in asking for help. Also, here are a number of resources that can be very useful: